Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Keeping it Real with Adoption

One of my very favorite things to do is promote adoption.  I love adoption. 

But the fact of the matter is that adoption is hard.  There are all kinds of crazy emotions that you go through on this journey, and many of them are hard. 

Today has been hard.  And because I find encouragement from knowing that I am not the only one that experiences hard, I decided that it's just as important to share the hard with you as it is to share the good.

Last night we got an email with a potential match for our adoption.  When we adopted Penelope we had only one potential match {that didn't choose us} before being matched with Penelope's birthmom, so even if this birthmom was not our birthmom it made everything suddenly seem real and imminent. 

I read the email, then looked through the birthmom's application, then I saw it.  The fees for this adoption are $35,000.  Every circumstance is a little different depending on things like health insurance, traveling and housing expenses, and the time that the birthmom has left in her pregnancy, so the fee varies.  But when we adopted Penelope the fee was $24,000.  $35,000 is a lot more.

I assumed this was an atypical case, so my thought was that we would probably just pass on this opportunity and wait for one with less expensive fees.  But this morning I was told by our agency that fees have gone up.  Right now their typical fees are $32,000 to $35,000.  That means that we need at least $45,000 to fully fund this adoption.

It was a punch in the gut.

We thought we had a good handle on the fundraising.  We actually thought we were nearly done.

It turns out that we still need about $10,000. 

It was the icing on the top of a really rotten cake that has been stinking up my house this week.

It makes me question our decisions.  It makes me wonder if this is a door that God is closing, or if its a roadblock set up by the enemy who would like nothing more than to destroy God's plan.  It makes me feel tired, and sad, and frustrated. 

I am trying hard to push on.  It is taking every ounce of my faith. 

I know that God's specialty is hard... so I will cling to that hope that His faithfulness is perfect. 

If you are in the middle of a storm or an assault, please know that you are not alone.  I don't mean because you are not the only one experiencing hard times, although that is certainly true.  I mean that God is with you.  He is in control.  He is bigger and more powerful than ANYTHING that comes at you.  He is for you.  And He wins. 

I am typing these words for you and for me. 

If you would like to make a donation to our adoption fund, please click on the Donate link in the sidebar. 


  1. Smooch. I'm having a time right now, too, and while I know I'm not the only one, it's hard to share sometimes for fear of being misunderstood. THanks for sharing friend. Love you, & we're in these things together.

    1. I'm sorry things are hard for you too. Hang in there! XOXO

  2. I came here from Tobi's blog and I just have to say I feel you! We are in the middle of a contested adoption that, the moment it became contested, went from about $17,000 to over $40,000. I will tell you this- God will provide. Even if it is the enemy trying to put up a roadblock, if this is God's will, he will make a way. Praying for y'all!

  3. Hang in there, Emmy! This is God's way of showing the true test. It will all come together no matter how intimidating or daunting. My husband and I are in the talks of adopting a child soon and we are right there with you in wondering how we can make this all come together and make it work, because honestly, not many people just have $45,000 lying around waiting to be used. Because then we'd be stress-free, right? ;) It'd be a breeze! Then there comes that love for the child, that trust in faith and hope. We're all here for you and we're going to make it all happen to bring your next baby home. We are all going to pray, support and be there with you. God is so good! Be strong, mama. Just a minor hiccup and guidance in a new direction. Blessings and prayers to you and the family! :)