Saturday, November 02, 2013

The Post I Never Wanted to Write

Our adoption has failed.

We got the call we were hoping not to get. The birthmom went into labor in her home state, which means that we cannot adopt this baby. 

I have been a wreck for the last four days. Now it's over. And it's actually a relief in some ways. 

My sister said to me the other day, "Maybe this baby won't work out, and maybe it's because God wants you to experience a failed adoption so that you can relate to even more adoptive mamas."  

I have always felt like I went through infertility more for other people than for myself. The Lord knows that I am a person that wears my heart on my sleeve, and He knows that there are women that need to hear my story. 

So maybe my sister is right. Maybe the Lord has brought us through this experience so that we can comfort others that experience the same thing. And that is okay. I like to be an encourager and comforter to others, so that's okay. 

We are sad. Mostly for the baby that is coming into the world today without a family. Please continue to pray for that birthmom and that baby. I don't think we will ever know what will come of this situation, but we are trusting that there is a perfect plan for them both. 

Thank you for being so loving and supportive and for lifting us up all week long. We are so confident that this adoption has been blanketed in prayer, so we know this is God's will. 

We are thankful for our sweet agency and for the way they care for us. {I promise to share more about them later this month.} We know we are in great hands and that we will still be bringing home our baby soon. 


  1. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Hugs.

  2. You are right, adoption is hard. I completely understand where you are at right now. We spent an entire weekend in Florida waiting for a bm to sign the papers. Never saw the baby, but only in pictures. It truly was one of the hardest things I have every gone through. I am finally back to finding my joy and not counting the weeks/months it has been. Everyone journey is different and i pray that you can find joy. This is the part that many people don't understand about domestic adoption. I crave that people better understand that bm still have choices and just because we are chosen doesn't guarantee we well parent this child. Oh how my relationship with God had grew even more after our failed adoption. I feel better equipped to witness and LOVE on or next bm do much easier. And the Lord willing I will do that I the coming weeks. Praying for your entire family during this time. Thank you for being an open book.

  3. Found you through Instagram and I am so sorry. We had 2 failed adoptions last year and I know it's because God had our little Norah Jane waiting in the wings for us. We adopted her 8 weeks ago when she was one day old. The pain is so hard though and the loss if hope is painful, but just know God has good things for you! Your attitude is very sweet (I don't think I had that good of an attitude!). Praying for you!! And if course the birth mom and baby :) hugs!

    1. I didn't have a good attitude either. Love your name for your sweet baby girl. Congrats on your new addition.