Friday, March 07, 2014

Just Adopt

When you go through infertility well meaning people will say to you, "Why don't you just adopt?" 

Just adopt?  Ha!  Spoken from the lips of people who have absolutely no clue what adoption actually looks like. 

Despite what Brad, Angelina & Madonna may have you thinking {and honestly, just because it looked like they got their children at the snap of a finger, I imagine they actually jumped through more hoops than we know} adoption is anything but a simple process. 

Recently I have had several friends go through difficult, gut-wrenching, heart-breaking experiences on their adoption journies. Three of my friends lost babies that they thought were going to be theirs.  One of those friends had held and loved and poured into that baby for two weeks. And now she will most likely never see that baby again. 

When you adopt a baby there are home studies, and fingerprints, and family profiles, and trainings, and DMV records, and paperwork, and social workers, and referrals, and matches, and expenses - lots and lots of expenses, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. And it's exciting, and scary, and wonderful, and awful, and a roller coaster not unlike infertility. 

So while I believe that adoption is an amazing option for people having difficulty conceiving {and if I'm honest... I actually think it is the best option}, please don't patronize your infertile friends by suggesting that they just adopt. 

Instead, hold their hands, tell them that their situation sucks {because it does, and it's nice when people recognize that}, and offer to stand by them should they decide to pursue adoption. Because they will need you. 

3 comments:

  1. Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove this. And you!

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  2. This is so accurate - spoken straight from my own heart.
    Donna
    www.fromfaithtofertility.blogspot.com

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  3. Amen! There's lives involved not just an exchange of money and waiting!

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